Realty Professionals 805-474-7040 Thinking Bigger. Notes for our “Thinking Bigger” Mastermind Group Call today. Build Confidence and Destroy Fear. We must recognize that fear is real before we can conquer it. Most fear is Psychological: worry, tension, embarrassment, and panic find root in mismanaged, negative imagination. The term “it’s only in your mind” assumes fear doesn’t really exist, but it does. Fear is success’s number one enemy and stops people from taking advantage of opportunity; will wear you down physically, and will make you sick and shortens your life. Fear explains why we have economic recessions. Fear prevents people from getting what they want. We can cure fear with proven treatments. 1st we have to acknowledge that all confidence is acquired, and developed. No one is born with confidence. People who radiate confidence have conquered worry.
Realty Professionals 805-474-7040
Action cures fear whereas indecision, postponement fertilizes fear. Action cures fear. When we face tough problems, we get stuck until we take action. Hope is a start, but requires action to win victories. How to put this action principle to work? At the first sign of fear, steady yourself and search for the answer to “what kind of action can I take to conquer my fear?”
To build confidence against:
- Embarrassment of personal appearance; improve it with personal hygiene, a nice haircut, clean and pressed clothes.
- Fear of losing an important customer; work twice as hard to give better service and correct any issues that cause the customer lose confidence.
- Fear of failing a test; convert worry time and study time.
- Fear of things totally beyond your control; change your focus to something outside of what you’re doing.
- Fear of being hurt by something out of your control (tornado, rough airplane ride) turn your attention to helping others, and pray.
- Fear of what others may say or think; confirm what you’re about to do is right, then do it. Remember others are criticized as well for doing worthwhile endeavors.
- For making investments, or to purchasing a home; analyze, then make a decision and stick with it. Trust your judgment.
- Fear of people; put things in proper perspective, everyone is just a human being much like yourself.
Follow the two step procedure to cure fear and win confidence. First, isolate your fear: Pin it down. Determine exactly what you are afraid of. Then take action: There is some kind of action for any kind of fear. Remember, hesitation only enlarges magnifies the fear so take action immediately be decisive. Lack of confidence can be traced to a mismanaged memory.
To boost confidence, replay in your mind successes that you’ve had, or successes as you see them, over and over and over in your mind. When you face a new situation you mind will recall the “successes” that you had and will say you can be successful with this “I’ve seen you do it 100 times, no problem”.
There are two specific things to do to build confidence through efficient management of your memory:
1. Deposit only positive thoughts in your memory bank. Don’t dwell on negative things that happened during the day or happened to you. When you’re alone, driving a car, eating etc., recall pleasant, positive experiences. Putting good thoughts in your memory boosts confidence and gives you that “I sure feel good” feeling. Lack of stress also keeps your body functioning right. Just before going to sleep at night, deposit the thoughts in your memory, count your blessings, recall the many good things you have to be thankful for, your significant other, children, friends, health. Recall good things you saw people do today. Recall your little victories and accomplishments of the day and the reasons why you’re glad to be alive.
2. Withdraw only positive thoughts from your memory. Negative thoughts, if recalled over and over again, can develop into a real mind monster, breaking down confidence and paving the way to serious psychological difficulties. Remember to focus on only placing the good memories into your memory. By doing so your mind will forget the unpleasant memories as they gradually shrivel up. Eventually your confidence will increase rapidly which will in turn take a big step toward conquering fear.
Fear of other people is actually a big fear. A way to conquer it is if you put people in the proper perspective. Most people worry about their physical and mental inadequacies. Remember, people are alike in many more ways than they are different. There’s no point in being afraid of people. To put people in proper perspective:
1. Get a balanced view of the other person. First, the other person is important, and so are you
2. Develop an understanding attitude. People who want to be mean to you are not rare. Be prepared for them so they don’t punch holes in your confidence. There are adult bullies also. Most of the time, those type of people have other issues in their life and their just letting off steam. It’s better to think “underneath he’s probably a very nice guy. Most folks are.”
Avoid taking actions that are incongruent with what you feel or believe. Doing so creates conflict in your mind, creates fear, reduces confidence and adds worry. (Review the book “50 years with the Golden rule” JCPenney). Doing what’s right keep your conscience satisfied which builds self-confidence. Doing something that we know is wrong creates guilt, diminishes confidence, and when other people find out they lose confidence in us as well. Do what’s right and keep your confidence; that’s thinking yourself to success. Read and chant the following 25×3 times a day. “To think confidently, act confidently”.
Motions are the precursors of Emotions. Go through the proper motions each day and you’ll soon begin to feel the corresponding emotions. You feel more superior when you make yourself stand tall rather than when you slouch. Following these five confidence building exercises and make a conscious effort to practice them to build your confidence.
1. Be a front seater. Front seater’s builds confidence.
2. Practice making eye contact. How a person uses their eyes tells us a lot about them. Failure to make eye contact signals “I feel weak beside you. I feel inferior to you. I’m afraid of you.” Or “I feel guilty. I’ve done something or I thought something that I don’t want you to know. I’m afraid if I let my eyes connect with yours, you’ll see through me”. It also says “I’m afraid. I lack confidence.” You can conquer this fear by making yourself look at the other person in the eyes. Looking someone in the eyes says, “I’m honest and above board. I believe in what I’m telling you. I’m not afraid. I’m confident.” Looking the other person in the eyes gives you confidence, and wins you confidence too.
3. Walk 25% faster. Psychologists link slovenly postures and sluggish walking to unpleasant attitudes towards oneself, work and the people around us. Average people have an average walk, their pace is average, and they have a look of “I really don’t have very much pride in myself”. People with superior confidence walk faster than the average and have a slight sprint in the way they walk. It declares “I’ve got someplace important to go, something important to do. What’s more, I will succeed at what I will do 15 minutes from now.” Walking fast helps build self-confidence. Throw your shoulders back, lift your head up, move ahead just a little faster and feel self-confidence grow.
4. Practice speaking up. Participate in discussions. The more you speak up the more you add to your confidence. Be certain to speak up at every open meeting you attend. Make no exception. You can comment, make a suggestion, or ask a question. Try to be the icebreaker, the first one in with a comment. Never worry about looking foolish, you won’t. Join a local Toastmasters club for experience and training in speaking.
5. Smile big. Smiling will help boost confidence. You can’t feel defeated and smile big at the same time.
If you are interested in joining our Mastermind Group … Call Kevin Jones today 805-474-7040
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